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Unto Others

Fro And/Or Thither

Posted on February 12, 2008

A message from Every Time I Die, following the recent change of touring plans in the UK. “We here at Every Time I Die apologize sincerely for our recent and unexpected cancellation of the December tour with Atreyu which was to take us to and fro (though mostly fro and/or thither) across the supple expanses of your glorious 241,590 sq miles full of rugged hills and low mountains with level to rolling plains in east and southeast, through your bustling cities where the population of 60, 270, 708 grows annually at a rate of 0.29% and consists of an impressive 17% either living on or below the poverty line, though your GDP has risen by .4% in Q3 2004, which is unfortunately down .9% from the previous quarter. And lest we forget the true freedom we Americans cannot fully understand that is delegated by your constitutional monarchy, whose laws are mandated partly by statutes, partly by common practice instead of an antiquated document issued by a constitution based federal republic with strong democratic traditions. The truth of the matter is, we have only been to the UK twice and are terribly afraid of things we don’t understand or recognize on a map. Until recently, the only source of information we had about the United Kingdom was that they assumedly made our British Knight sneakers. Please forgive us, and come to see us when we return early next year. We love and need you.”


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