Name: Jeffrey Martin Piper Occupation: Guitarist, Dirty Americans Date of birth: July 10, 1976 A tour memory: Tattoo The Earth 2000. Portland, Oregon, USA. Stripper tents, free beer, 20,000 people. I almost shit myself. One album you think everyone should own: Jaco Pastorious (1st solo album) Which famous person, dead or alive, would you most like to spend time with, and why? Will Ferrel (Saturday Night Live, Old School). He’s the funniest fucker alive. Funny people make the world a much better place. Best piece of advice you’ve ever been given: “Nobody shits in the Lair!” – Lions Lair Club, Denver, Colorado. Complete the sentence… if I wasn’t making music, I would be: A chef. I fucking love food. Literally, can’t live without it. Tell us one thing about yourself: The crummy-ass cross tattoo on my fore-arm was actually received in prison. What’s one thing you hope to achieve that you haven’t yet: Owning a home in Negril, Jamaica. A six-pack stomach (sorry that’s two). I am most proud of: The fact that I’m not dead or worse. Drunk driving is a nasty habit!